


Excuse me, we Broke up WHEN?!

by Agraulis_vanillae



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (kind of), Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Break Up, Brief mentions of Swapfell, Honeypuff - Freeform, Implied Edgepuff - Freeform, M/M, Meant to be funny I don't know what happened, Post-Break Up, Shitty Break Up strategies, Surprise Angst, honeymustard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 03:50:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13802790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agraulis_vanillae/pseuds/Agraulis_vanillae
Summary: Prompt: Oblivious people remain oblivious long after a breakup. It sounded ridiculously funny, until I actually sat down to write this.





	Excuse me, we Broke up WHEN?!

Papyrus couldn’t understand why Swap was giving him funny looks. 

 

It started up a while ago, but he’d originally chalked it up to Swap being wowed by his amazing feats like cooking a spaghetti meal the size of the oven!.. Obviously, there was the trouble of actually fitting said pasta into a oven dish, but after a serious discussion with Undyne over the phone, he solved that dilemma by throwing a bonfire party and cooking it all on the bonfire!

 

Of course, now that he thought a little harder, that hadn’t been expressly that moment when he noticed Swap giving him a funny look that day. Was it while they were holding hands as he explained the idea to him? Yeah… that’s about right. 

 

Thinking back on it, Swap had also given him a funny look when Papyrus wholeheartedly embraced his poly lifestyle! After all, Papyrus was very good at sharing, not the jealous type at all. If Red could make Swap happy, who was he to object? And Red was very good company too, even if he was a tad punny and sloppy, he and Papyrus had many interesting conversations about their own brothers.

 

Papyrus was still thinking hard about all the times that Swap gave him a funny look when he bumped into Blue on his way into the Swapverse. “OH HEY BLUE! HOW’S TRAINING BEEN?”

 

Blue smiled gamely, “ALPHYS SAID I WAS MAKING SOME REAL PROGRESS! I BET YOU I COULD BENCHPRESS MORE SEA TURTLES THAN YOU NOW.”

 

“IF THAT’S A CHALLENGE… I ACCEPT! BUT NOT RIGHT NOW, IS MY BONEFRIEND IN?” Papyrus inquired, eyes slightly narrowed at his friendly rival all while shooting him his best competitive smirk.

 

Now it was Blue’s turn to give him a funny look. He was getting really tired of getting those lately, but he didn’t know what he could possibly be saying to merit them! “AH… SWAP’S UP IN HIS ROOM WITH RED. I THINK THEY MIGHT BE…”

 

“OKAY, THANK YOU!” Papyrus jogged up the stairs into the house, and Blue blinked up at the invisible silhouette where he once was. His gaze followed the trail up through the door and he shuffled his bright blue boots, kicking at a lump of snow awkwardly.

 

“...UH… BUSY…”

 

~

 

Papyrus bounced up each step, not even pausing to go into Swap’s room. He’d done it so many times, he hadn’t thought to maybe stop and listen for a moment, so when he opened the door he opened the door already advancing one to two long steps directly into the scene before finally stopping.

 

Clearly interrupted, Red and Swap were in various states of undress. Red’s hoodie was pushed down to a puddle around his hands, his tank top nowhere to be found. Swap’s clothes however, were strewn all around the room as he straddled Red’s lap bareboned. He’d been in the process of grinding his pelvis into Red’s lap when Papyrus burst in but now they were both gawking at Papyrus wide-eyed.

 

For his part, Papyrus was embarrassed, and couldn’t quite bring himself to look anywhere except the window. “I- UH, OH BOY, I WALKED IN AT JUST THE WRONG MOMENT, DIDN’T I? T-THAT’S OKAY, I’LL WAIT DOWNSTAIRS WHILE YOU FINISH UP-”

 

With a quick therapeutic breath that Undyne taught him to do every time he was faced with the impulse to throw himself headfirst out the window, he turned around and marched right out the door instead. Gently closing it, he stared straight ahead with his face blazing. Boy howdy, he wasn’t expecting to see that first thing today! But it was completely okay, he’ll just wait and try to push down the embarrassment. After all, Swap was dating Red too, so it was inevitable that they’d be advancing through the dating manual while he and Swap was just… holding hands and… hugging...

 

He planted himself on the couch, feeling much like he was still missing something vital. The feeling persisted quite strongly, to the point that he began revisiting all the times that Swap had given him funny looks. It must’ve been quite awhile, because he’d only just placed each memory side by side and were mentally comparing them like puzzle pieces when Red and Swap came walking down the stairs.

 

“papyrus..?” Swap called softly, a note of disbelief coloring his voice. Red gave him a significant look and flipped his palms up as if to present his existence to Swap.

 

“what’d i tell you? i’ll leave you two alone to… clear things up. just text me when you’re done, ‘kay?” He disappeared with a crack of displaced air filling the space he once occupied, and then it was just Swap and Papyrus.

 

Looking like he’d rather be anywhere but right there just this moment, Swap plodded over to sit next to Papyrus. “hey, uh…”

 

“HEY!” Papyrus greeted him, but he could see the strained look on Swap’s face, and his own embarrassment from earlier came flooding back into his cheekbones. “SORRY ABOUT EARLIER, I DIDN’T MEAN TO INTRUDE ON… UH… QUALITY TIME WITH RED?! THAT WAS VERY DECIDEDLY UNGREAT OF MYSELF, SEEING AS I’VE ALREADY PROMISED THAT I WOULDN’T MESS WITH YOUR TIME TOGETHER.”

 

“no no, it’s not about that- well, not really, anyways.” Swap rubbed his skull, a sure sign of his own discomfort. “but papyrus… i’ve been wondering something for awhile now.”

 

“YES, WHAT IS IT?” Papyrus suspected that it might’ve been about their relationship, after all Red did just leave them alone. Was it something about how far Red and Swap was advancing, and how he and Swap… wasn’t?

 

“do you still think that we’re together?”

 

Papyrus felt his mind suddenly halt altogether. It was his turn to look at Swap with wide eyes, absolutely flabbergasted. “NYEH?- WHAT?”

 

He scrambled for words, trying to grasp for comprehension. “DO I THINK… WE’RE STILL TOGETHER? I… WE’RE NOT?”

 

Swap sighed suddenly, a long gusty exhalation that left him even more intensely aware of the situation he just found himself in. Swap’s eyes were searching his face before he lowered his hand from his face, apparently self-conscious of what his body language was doing. “no, we’re not. at least, i thought we weren’t but… didn’t you get that sticky note i left you? before i started dating red?”

 

Sticky note? Papyrus had no clue what he was talking about, and said so right off. “NO, I DIDN’T! WHAT STICKY NOTE?”

 

“well, i left it on the kitchen table. i figured it was less likely to get burned up there than next to the stove, or the sink where it might get water on it...”

 

Papyrus wasn’t even listening anymore, he was too busy trying to think where the sticky note might’ve gone, but the only possible point where there might’ve been a note was when he caught the annoying dog chewing on something yellow. It had scampered off leaving scraps of paper all over the living room floor, dooming Papyrus to having to scrape the soggy paper off the carpet.

 

That was Swap had broken up with him? But that must’ve been…

 

“YOU BROKE UP WITH ME FOUR MONTHS AGO..?” His voice must’ve clued Swap in to some degree as to what he was feeling because he was scooting in to rub his back. Papyrus stood up abruptly, hiding the sudden impulse to flinch from his bonefri- no wait, ex-bonefriend? He shot a smile to Swap, trying very hard not to let the corners of his mouth tremble. “I SEE! OF COURSE, THAT MUST’VE BEEN WHY YOU WERE… YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME KIND OF STRANGELY THIS WHOLE TIME…”

 

“shit, papyrus i had no idea- i thought you were just-” Swap lowered his hand to his lap and looked at it like it was placed oddly there, and couldn’t decide where else to put it. “just… being your cheery sunny self…”

 

“WELL NOW THAT THIS BIG MISUNDERSTANDING HAS BEEN CLEARED UP, I’M JUST GONNA HEAD MY CHEERY SUNNY WAY AND YOU CAN GO HANG OUT WITH RED!” Papyrus knew a part of him was just parroting pieces of what Swap was saying but at this point, he was just trying very hard to bring this conversation to a very normal, very definitive close. “TELL HIM SORRY FOR ME, AND SAY HI AND- I’M JUST GOING TO GO HOME AND COOK SOME-!!” He could feel his eyesockets getting all gross and watery and cut himself off quickly.

 

“YEAH, THAT THING THAT I DO!”

 

He raced out without another look back, missing Blue and Edge’s startled looks, as he blindly barreled out beyond the town into the forest until his chest was hurting from physical exertion and not from this sudden intolerable feeling of being somewhat betrayed. That big smile he put on for Swap was still pasted tightly across his face, but as he slowly came to grips with the situation, it was crumbling until he was burying his face and groaning.

 

“SWAP… HE BROKE UP WITH ME FOUR MONTHS AGO AND DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING…”

 

Gods, could he feel any more embarrassed? How long did it take for him to even notice something was up? Today? He couldn’t even go to Swap to talk it out because he isn’t even dating him anymore. He sunk to his knees before pulling them up to his chest, leaning against the base of the tree trunk.

 

“I’M SUCH AN IDIOT…” He admitted to himself, and that was when his vision really started blurring.

 

“EXCUSE YOU, BUT THE WAY I HEARD IT, BOTH ASHTRASH AND MY BROTHER ARE THE REAL IDIOTS LETTING IT GET THIS FAR.” An entirely new and unwelcome voice brashly announced itself. 

 

Papyrus startled and shoved his scarf into his eyes to soak up the tears right away before Edge could see. “W-WHAT?! EDGE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

 

The imperious doppleganger to himself and Swap had walked up, but he didn’t see where he was right away. Papyrus shifted from his seated position on the snow to look behind him. Edge wasn’t beside him exactly, but had sat on the other side of the treetrunk so that they were almost back to back.

 

“I HEARD FROM MY CLUMSY OAF OF A BROTHER THAT AFTER MONTHS OF DATING HIM, SWAP FINALLY SUMMONS THE NERVE TO BREAK UP WITH YOU TO YOUR FACE?!” Edge informed him. Now that he was here for longer than a few moments, he could hear how out of breath Edge sounded.

 

“AH… I DON’T WANT TO REALLY… THAT IS, IT MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR SWAP! I DIDN’T GET THE MESSAGE FOR SO LONG, AND HERE I JUST KIND OF THOUGHT… HE WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH RED AT THE SAME TIME AND-”

 

“OH PLEASE!” Edge snorted, and Papyrus curled further into himself at the derision he heard. “WHAT MESSAGE? PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME. WAS IT A VOICEMAIL?”

 

“N-NO… IT WAS A STICKY NOTE.” His words, mumbled through the fabric of his scarf hung through the air for a few heartbeats. 

 

Then Edge said flatly, “OH MY GOD. IT’S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.”

 

Papyrus felt tears springing unbidden, and hid his face further into his scarf. This was nice, dark and warm. Maybe he could just climb into the fabric of his scarf and just disappear forever- oh wait, Sans would miss him. And he probably wouldn’t feed himself or get out of bed, just lay there texting puns to Slim all day, and that wouldn’t do.

 

“H-HEY…” Edge’s voice sounded a little closer, snow crunching as it was displaced. Warmth radiated somewhere near his shoulder and he could feel the frayed ends of Edge’s scarf brushing his humerus. “WHY ARE YOU ALL CURLED INTO YOURSELF LIKE THAT? IT’S NOT…”

 

He didn’t finish what he was about to say, as much as he abruptly changed it mid-thought. “LOOK, WHAT ASHTRASH DID WAS FUCKING LOW, ESPECIALLY TO SOMEONE AS GREAT AS YOURSELF. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CRYING OUT HERE WHEN YOU COULD BE MARCHING BACK THERE TO PUNCH THAT GUY IN THE FACE?”

 

“I-I… DON’T WANT TO BE ANGRY WITH HIM.” Papyrus muttered. “CAN YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE?”

 

“NO! ISN’T IT BAD ENOUGH ONE PERSON LEFT YOU TODAY?” Edge buried his fist in the snow as his words rang out in the crisp air. “I JUST THOUGHT… MAYBE IT’D BE BETTER IF SOMEONE MADE SURE YOU WEREN’T GOING TO HURT YOURSELF FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S DUMB MISTAKES. YOU TALE MONSTERS ARE AWFULLY SOFT, AND ALL TOUCHY FEELY AND…”

 

Not for the first time that day, Papyrus heard someone sigh one of those long gusty sighs. “GODDAMMIT, YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO NEED A HUG AREN’T YOU?”

 

“NO THAT’S OK-” Papyrus was interrupted mid-protest by a bone crushing hug far too uncomfortable for either participant in this position, as he was dragged halfway across Edge’s lap and Edge was tilted comically in a gravity defying angle. They remained like that for a couple of moments with no sign of Edge relenting, and Papyrus was forced to scooch closer just so that both of their spines could stop aching. After shifting, he could almost call the contact comfortable, as he could hear the steady pulse of magic behind Edge’s leather breastplate.

 

“YOU REALLY DIDN’T DESERVE THAT.” Edge stated, and this time it wasn’t directed to Papyrus so much as he was musing to himself. “COULDN’T THEY HAVE BEEN A LITTLE MORE HONEST?”

 

Shock jolted through his bones, leaving him lightheaded and feeling strangely raw. Having his own feelings stated so succinctly, Papyrus sucked in a sharp shaky breath-

 

And then began the hiccups deep in his chest. With no more thought of composure or pretense of cool around Edge, he finally started bawling.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'know, I still think Honeypuff could be a ridiculously sweet ship but this seemed like one of the easier pairings to pick on for a scenario like this happening- Swap being too low-key and lazy to stop a budding bad situation from developing, and Papyrus not being stupid but sometimes ignoring things right in front of him especially if they trouble him. I feel a tad bad about this one though, so I threw in hints of one of my favorite ships to give it a hopeful ending.   
> If you liked what you read, feel free to leave a comment or follow me on tumblr!  
> https://agraulisvanillae.tumblr.com/


End file.
